Look………there’s a lot that goes into being a bridesmaid. I have personally heard of friendships being shattered by wedding arguments and conflicts. Even though I personally believe that any “real friendship” shouldn’t be in jeopardy because of a wedding, let’s play it safe by trying to avoid conflict before it even starts.
With that being said, the first tip of the Black Nuptials’ Kick Ass Bridesmaid series is to “Find Out What the Bride Expects From You, Both Financially and Emotionally”.
Being in a bridal party can be tough on not only your pockets but also your mental health. To avoid the unexpected (as much as you can), find out what activities the bride actually expects you to help her with (i.e. dress shopping, wedding décor, etc). Also find out what kind of shower and bachelorette party the bride wants and find out how much you are expected to contribute to each activity.
Since most brides are typically overwhelmed, you probably need to ask her a couple of times, to really flush out what she want and expects of you. In fact, write it down and make some notes on the estimated cost and time commitments by each activity. After you have everything on paper, be honest and ask yourself, can I really do this? Or maybe the better question to ask is “do I want to do this?”.
If not, be mature about it and politely decline the invitation. You’re not obligated to be a part of anyone’s big day. And, because being in a wedding is not only an honor but is also a big commitment, if you really can’t do it, then you shouldn’t. Don’t play games with someone’s big day just because you were afraid to say “No”.
Nevertheless, if after getting all the details, you still decide to be in the wedding, that’s awesome! Supporting your friend on her big day can be an amazing experience.
Stay tuned for the rest of the Black Nuptials’ series on how to be a kick ass bridesmaid!
*This Article was originally posted on Black Nuptials. Head on over to the site to discover all things weddings, curated for African American and Multicultural Brides & Couples.